Disaster
by Superhumannn
Summary: How do you heal from the pain and hurt you've experienced throughout the years. My parents never really loved me and the rare occasions they actually showed they cared where just because my social workers showed up. Sixteen years – sixteen brutal, hateful, tragic years that I had to deal with them and their bullshit but hey I'm lucky it could be worst. Right? Wrong I wanted to die.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story I might continue depends on you guys…**

**I don't see why this is even required or relevant but just for those idiots out there I don't, never have, ever will, own Victorious… Ok**

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Tori's P.O.V:

How do you heal from the pain and hurt you've experienced throughout the years. My parents never really loved me and the rare occasions they actually showed they cared where just because my social workers showed up. Sixteen years – sixteen brutal, hateful, tragic years that I had to deal with them and their bullshit but hey I'm lucky. I learned how to deal with it subduing the beatings I received the cruel things they spat at me. Things change when the only hero you have is yourself.

'Hey ma I'm leaving for school' I say grabbing my charm bracelet and necklace getting ready to leave.

'Be straight home today Victoria your social worker is coming for an update' she said stepping from out balcony. Of course she cared that I should come home today, only because the stupid state of California required my parents to have check up meeting every 2nd Friday of the month. I groaned inwardly hoping they finally put me in the system.

'I'll try' I said exiting the house.

Its hard trying to get through the day sometimes I miss her and him they were my world and then – then the unthinkable happened. Why was it so hard to let go I mean it happened over a year ago, but it still hurt it hurt like hell. The walk to school was long and to make matters worse I was late I went to my locker and pulled out my chemistry book and AP Lit book and set off to class. I was a rule breaker I pushed limits I wasn't always like this but hey grief changed me in many ways.

Flashback~~

'Try harder' she said stifling a laugh.

I turned and glared at my sister she was doing this on purpose I knew it but it was okay with me.

'Trinaaaa it won't spray, Gavin tell Trina to help me' I say looking at my older siblings both wide eyed and laughing at me.

'I would but seeing you down there struggling is just…' he didn't get to finish because I took the hose and started to spray… both of them.

'Hey Tori don't spray me it was all her idea… spray Trina' Gavin said in between laughs I turned and looked at my older sister and started to drench her in water. It was days like this when Gavin, Trina, and I enjoyed when our parents were out of town. We could goof off without the usual side effects of our actions with a punishment.

'Hey Tor you know it's kind of hot out here I mean you should cool off' Trina said coming in for a soapy wet hug. She took one step forward and I two steps back when I suddenly felt something wet drip over my head. I let out a simple guilty laugh knowing what my fate held and stood there frozen waiting for the water to be poured but it never came.

End of Flashback~~

That's the last memory I have of them and sometimes I feel like its missing something like there's holes in that memory. I can't seem to remember the whole thing or even that year to be exact and that scares me. I stop and head into the classroom handing my excuse and taking my seat by my best friend Cat.

'Where were you I was getting worried' she whispered yell to me

'I was at home I decided to walk her instead of taking a car' I told her trying to calm her down. She was the only person that knew what I was going through and still choose to be seen with me.

'Well send me a text ok next time' she said concerned.

'Yes mom I will' I said in my soldier voice causing a few people to stare at us.

It was nice to know she cared but nothing would ever change what I've been through let alone what I'm going through. The scars were permanent and the pain, hurt, regret, sorrow, and grief were still there and I just really wished she knew that.

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**If you want me to continue comment and fave and follow and I might post tomorrow… Tell me if I should introduce more characters next chapter or focus on Cat and Tori's relationship as friends. This is new based on things I've experienced and what I'm going through now so please no harsh comments just constructive criticism.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my new story I might continue depends on you guys…**

**I don't see why this is even required or relevant but just for those idiots out there I don't, never have, ever will, own Victorious… Ok**

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**Tori's P.O.V:**

The walk back home was peaceful I actually had time to think. The state had collected enough information to say I was emotionally unstable; they wanted me to attend mandatory therapy session, with the new clinical social worker they had assigned me this morning. If having the state already in business at home was bad enough… to have them in my business at school my place; the only safe place I had. Well let's say it would probably not sit right with my parents. I was a block away from the house when I notice a boy standing across the street staring at me, just when I was about to say something smart he disappeared into the woods.

'Hey mom, dad I'm home' I shout putting my bag near the coat closet. I walked over to the kitchen grabbing a pear and shedding my shoes somewhere along the way. I never got an answer which is weird considering we have the social workers coming over in an hour or so. I go upstairs and grab my laptop and headphones when I notice a note on the grand piano in the foyer.

_Dear Tor Bear,_

_Your Father and I decided to go on a little get away we will be back soon in the next few weeks or so but until then we need you to hold down the fort. We understand that you have a new clinical social worker at school and thinks it's a great opportunity. Remember your father and I care deeply about you and we want you to be safe. We will call and check up on you once we board. Be safe my little love bug…_

_Sincerely, Holly (Mom)_

Its funny how her letters made it seem like they cared but what little game was she trying to play, why was she trying to get to me. She hasn't called me love bug or Tor Bear in over three years, that's when it started the beatings, the hatred I remember Trina and Gavin trying to protect me and help me through it. They would tell me stories on when they were thirteen the beatings started to get worst and the words they said tore them down. I remember when Gavin hit my dad back and he ended up in the hospital the nurse said he was lucky. I remember all the bad things but never the good.

I threw the letter across the room and called Cat she said she was on her way. Cat has been there from the beginning when I was struggling she helped me get through. When I lost Gav and Trina she stayed over and watched me cry she held me and told me everything was going to be fine. Cat was the only one that didn't abandon me when I needed her she actually stuck by me when everyone left. I guess that's why she feels the need to make sure I'm ok all the time.

'Tori I'm here' Cat yells from downstairs

'Hey Kitty Cat' I say pulling my best friend into a hug

'So how long this time?' she asks sitting on the couch

'She claims a few weeks but I say a couple of months or so' I say, recalling my parent's last trip. They didn't return home for a whole two and a half months but that was before the disaster.

'So sleep over it is' she says jumping up and down. I used to be just like cat high on the popularity rank, captain of the cheerleading team, happy, bubbly but that girl was long gone no that girl died the day her older brother and sister died.

'Yeah sleep over it is' I say taking her stuff and put it by the stairs

We talked for hours and hours about life, and what we would do after we left high school. I knew specifically what I wanted; I couldn't wait to leave the small comfort of my home to actually be out on my own. My parents had applied for colleges for me but I slipped in some applications to colleges I wanted to go to. My mom claimed she didn't want to lose her baby girl, but we all knew she just didn't want to be the only one left here with my dad. Cat and I knew very well my parents hated each other and it surprised us that they could be gone for so long.

Trina and Gavin used to joke and say that they were both having an affair and the only reason they went away was to fill their pleasure needs. It seemed crazy then but my parents fighting got worst the beatings, the hate, I now suspected they knew what the other did when they were absent. I don't think it's a joke anymore I believe it's my reality.

'So Jade called her and Beck and André will be back at school tomorrow' Cat said snapping me out of my thoughts. When I heard those names everything started spinning and then it went black.

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**So New characters introduced next chapter If you want me to continue comment and fave and follow and I might post tomorrow… Tell me if I should introduce more characters next chapter or focus on Cat and Tori's relationship as friends and what happened to the gang. This is new based on things I've experienced and what I'm going through now so please no harsh comments just constructive criticism.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is my new story I might continue depends on you guys…**

**Read the Italics lats together after you've read the story...**

**I don't see why this is even required or relevant but just for those idiots out there I don't, never have, ever will, own Victorious… Ok**

* * *

**Tori's P.O.V:**

_The say time heals all wounds… I _was breathing, no I was shaking my eyes shot open and I drew in a deep breath. The first thing I saw were the paramedics the second thing I saw was Cat's face. I tried to talk but no words came, just tears. I remember something from that day, the day I lost them all, not just Gavin and Trina but him. He was supposed to love me, he was supposed to help me get through this, but he left and now I was here in the hospital, crying my eyes out over a guy that had left the same day my brother and sister were put in the ground.

**Becks P.O.V:**

_But the scars are permanent… _The drive was long and exhausting the constant nagging from Jade and series of questions coming from André just seem to make things worse. I Beck Oliver and my band of misfit friends were returning to our home town. It was a long year and half away, traveling the country and trying to figure out how our lives seemed to change drastically; helped us bond. Not to mention the pain of the lives we lost before we left.

'Hey man ready to return back to the hell whole?' André asked me smiling a bit. I shook my head before answering truthfully, I was somber in spirits about returning but something's made me question why I even left.

'Yea I wonder how everyone is, I mean how else would you learn to deal with living in a small town' Jade said from the very comfort of André's lap. I smiled to myself the only good thing that came from traveling on the road was the realization of how much you could actually love someone, and that's exactly what Jade and André had.

'I mean I talked to Kitty-Cat she said she was doing good and then she told me how Torbear was doing…' I froze in my seat at the mention of her name. Tori. I had loved her I still do, but after I took off it became easier to sleep around with a different girl each day and forget I had feelings for her. Once Jade and I got into argument.

'How could you love my best friend, but sit here and sleep with a different whore each night!' she screamed

'Easy' I said, 'I love her I do but ones heart can only take so much' I said storming away. That night only led to a strain in Jade and my relationship, she had become more protecting even though she had ditched the very best friend she claimed she loved.

'… Kitty- Cat told me her parents beat her, she says she is dying from inside and out she won't even wash her hair sometimes and the worst part she sleeps with any male that gives her the attention she needs. I don't know what I would do if I was there with her she's dying slowly but nobody sees it, not her mother or father and it's scary… real scary.' Jade finished wiping away the tears that had slipped from her eyes she rested her head on the crook of André's shoulder and he hummed a tune in her ear to soothe her.

They had love but for how long did love last until it tore you apart.

**Tori's P.O.V:**

_So when it's all healed the hurt and pain still remain… _The doctors came in as soon as they heard I was awake, she looked at my pupils and checked my vitals.

'Sweetie, I'm going to release you for now, Ok' I nodded my head unable to speak I had days like these when it was too hard for words where I would just sit and nod my head sometimes it lasted for weeks sometimes months but it always seemed to break when something else happened.

I sat on my bed changing my clothes cat helped of course she helped me with my makeup and even putting on my shoes.

'You can't keep doing this' she said staring at my untied shoes

'I know' I mumbled

'No you don't know Tor, you don't know what it's like taking care of your best friend. Its hard its so fucking hard, I've been there for you to many times, I've watched you break, I've seen you cry, I've been there through the heartbreaks, and even you're mistakes, and you still won't tell me what's wrong.' She said trying hard to hold back the tears she was serious I could tell and it took a lot to get Cat serious. I understood I felt like a burden to her she never did hang out with anyone else after what happened to me and even then the only people she spoke to where me, her mom, Jade, and Robbie. The curly haired weird boy and Cat seemed to had found some interest in each other because ion the off chances I caught them together Robbie would always have lip-gloss on his lips and Cat lips smeared with the sparkly lip smackers product.

'I'm sorry! Ok! Is that what you want to hear' I said standing abruptly causing her to stumble back, 'I'm sorry I'm such a burden I'm sorry you don't have a normal life anymore, but Cat you were there for me when it seemed impossible you saved me from my darkest days. I know I'm a handful, I know I'm a mess but hey this is coming from the girl with two dead siblings, one broken heart, and two shit-faced parents. So sorry if I'm such a fucking burden.' I said screaming the tears ran down my face as did hers and she got up and hugged me.

'You're not a burden, I love you you're my sister but hey you do have shit-faced parents' she said causing me to smile.

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**So here it is I don't know if it's good enough or not,** **so new characters are introduced in this chapter. If you want me to continue comment and fave and follow and I might post tomorrow… Tell me if I should introduce more characters next chapter or focus on Cat and Tori's relationship as friends and what happened to the gang also in about 3 or 4 chapters everyone will be reunited so the gang should meet soon. It's getting to that point where things are going to start coming together. I think after the next two chapters I will further go into how Gavin and Trina died. Remember though Tori does not really remember anything from that night, so I'm going to try and hint at the death as much as possible. The filler chapter will be 4-5 they will be short and to the point. If you want to know more pm me and I'll respond when I have time. Thanks for the reviews.** **This is new based on things I've experienced and what I'm going through now so please no harsh comments just constructive criticism.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is my new story I might continue depends on you guys…**

**I don't see why this is even required or relevant but just for those idiots out there I don't, never have, ever will, own Victorious… Ok**

* * *

**Tori's P.O.V:**

The day was hazy after the long hospital scare I had wasted mine and Cat's time. We were heading back home when we crossed the path where the disaster occurred; I could call it an accident because it just wasn't. It was intentional, my mother screamed at me she was convinced it was my fault but then again my mother was convinced about a lot of things.

'You okay?' Cat asked looking at me sideways while watching the road.

'Yea it's just… I mean you know… It hurts… I mean remembering them hurts' I said sighing she stopped the car and pulled over she reached in the back and pulled out a scrapbook.

'Here' she said shoving the book into my hands, 'Try to remember' she said jumping out the car.

I sat there stunned I flipped open the cover and then I realized it's the scrapbook Gavin, Trina, cat Beck, Jade, and André had made before everything slipped away. The pages were filled with memories, smiles, duck faces, sad faces, kisses, and my past. I wiped away the tears that had slipped out some way. I got out the car and ran to Cat she hugged me.

'Why did they have to leave us Cat, what was so wrong with this town?' I asked she didn't answer she never did when I asked this she just led me to the tree and sat down under it.

The tree was a tradition for us when things seemed to bother us or we just needed time we went there. When I was 15 when Gavin and Trina died I stayed at the tree for days Cat supplied me with food, André supplied me with encouragement, Jade with a shoulder to cry on, and Beck just pure company. When they died people talked they were young so young Gavin was on his way already had plans on leaving home he was close to it eighteen years he had been livin' in this town eighteen long, hard years. Trina just sixteen and a half she was about to turn seventeen in a couple of weeks when it happened, so full of life and energetic that is what the people in town told me the day of the funeral. But when beck left me all alone I was lost, the first few weeks any guy that made me feel loved I slept with and I know that's bad but I was lost no one seemed to notice that. That within the few weeks I lost them the abuse got intense and I was dying slowly and painfully.

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**So here is the filler it explains some things others will be explained in the next chapter… Next filler chapter will be in Cat's P.O.V so sadly this is short I did warn you guys thanks to the two comments for last chapter. Cat's chapter will be up later tomorrow afternoon or on Friday I have to deal with some personal matters.** **So here it is I don't know if it's good enough or not. If you want me to continue comment and fave and follow and I might post tomorrow… Tell me if I should introduce more characters next chapter or focus on Cat and Tori's relationship as friends and what happened to the gang also in about 3 or 4 chapters everyone will be reunited so the gang should meet soon. It's getting to that point where things are going to start coming together. I think after the next two chapters I will further go into how Gavin and Trina died. Remember though Tori does not really remember anything from that night, so I'm going to try and hint at the death as much as possible. The filler chapter will be continued on into chapter 5 they are and will be short and to the point. If you want to know more pm me and I'll respond when I have time. Thanks for the reviews.** **This is new based on things I've experienced and what I'm going through now so please no harsh comments just constructive criticism.**

**BYE… **


	5. Chapter 5

**This is my new story I might continue depends on you guys…**

**I don't see why this is even required or relevant but just for those idiots out there I don't, never have, ever will, own Victorious… Ok**

* * *

Cat's P.O.V  
I sat under the tree with Tori for what had felt like hours she was sound asleep she cried herself that way. What was I supposed to do I drove this way so she would remember so she could let go, but my best friends a fighter and she wasn't ready to let go. The better part of me told me to get her the hell away from this town and help her but the other part wanted her to stay. That night before Jade, André, and Beck left he had offered me to take Tori with him. I told him no, that she needed to stay here and try and deal with the pain of losing her brother and sister.

At that time I didn't want to lose her and plus she was so fragile. Its sounds selfish but it worked in some creepy twisted way it worked. But then time went on and when Beck left she lost herself again it was like everything we worked for, to repair her to help her heal just vanished. It was hard watching her break. It was hard seeing her go through this. It was hard in general to watch my best friend in the whole entire world fall down and break into pieces. The hardest part was trying to be strong for her when all the hurt and pain consumed me and the whole town.

I sat there leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I lost him the one I loved it wasn't official but it hurt. Nobody knew and he promised to tell Tori as soon as we got home, it was funny how karma eventually caught up with us. He saw the side nobody ever got to see, not even Tori, he saw me when I was just being me, and he loved me that way. It wasn't supposed to end up like this, it wasn't supposed to be complicated, but it got complicated and then everything I had was ripped out from under me and I was falling. I couldn't be strong for Tori anymore I had to be strong for myself, but then she started to throw herself at people and I knew I had to take care of her before I took care of myself.

I was hurt and yet in some way Tori was my savior she looked like him, smiled like him, and smelt like him. The first few days of the death was the hardest for us both she slept in Trina's room one night and I in Gavin's I cried the whole night sleeping on the floor. Then Tori switched and I was shoved away for the one who had cared the most for me, she stayed in there for two-week straight not once eating, or drinking. She was in shock and I couldn't blame her. I needed my best friend and she needed me but at our weakest moment we weren't there for each other. Because we both knew the other had a secret…

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**So here is the filler it explains some things others will be explained in the next chapter… so sadly this is short I did warn you guys thanks to the two comments for last chapter.****So here it is I don't know if it's good enough or not. If you want me to continue comment and fave and follow and I might post tomorrow… Tell me if I should introduce more characters next chapter or focus on Cat and Tori's relationship as friends and what happened to the gang also in about 3 or 4 chapters everyone will be reunited so the gang should meet soon. It's getting to that point where things are going to start coming together. I think after the next two chapters I will further go into how Gavin and Trina died. Remember though Tori does not really remember anything from that night, so I'm going to try and hint at the death as much as possible. If you want to know more pm me and I'll respond when I have time. Thanks for the reviews. This is new based on things I've experienced and what I'm going through now so please no harsh comments just constructive criticism.**

**BYE…**


	6. Chapter 6

This is my new story I might continue depends on you guys…

I don't see why this is even required or relevant but just for those idiots out there I don't, never have, ever will, own Victorious… Ok

* * *

**Tori's P.O.V:**

I stayed with Cat for the majority of the week we had fun that week, there was no talk about Gavin or Trina it was just us being us. We realized that neither of us where ready to move on and I knew Cat was hiding something from me, but all friends have their share of secrets, and I suppose when she is ready she'll tell me.

'Tor-Bear we have to start getting ready for the party' Cat said, before we began school someone always hosted a party I usually wouldn't go but things change and I'm ready to actually start accepting it. I was upstairs in my room getting dressed while Cat was downstairs in the guest room showering. She always teased me on how nice and safe3 my outfits where when we where were just freshmen but as time went on it evolved.

'Cat I think you will love my outfit' I say walking downstairs my hair was windswept to the side, I had on my collarless black biker jacket, with my Gold Pearl Studded Lace Bustier, which I finished off with my studded pocket shorts, shoes, and bag. I gave it my all and as I walked into the bathroom to show Cat my outfit a voice in my head whispered, _'This isn't you'_. I knew it was right but the old me vanished and now nothing mattered but living life to the maximum.

'Tori' she said looking me up and down she was hesitant and that worried me but when she smiled I knew she loved it. 'So you excited or what, it's going to be your first time back on stage since… you know' she said lowering her head. This is what tried to avoid every time someone brought them up or even when I saw something that reminded me of them; I would start to feel like this little girl who had just done something terribly wrong. The voice was back, _'You are going to disappoint them they wouldn't want to see their baby sister dressed up like a whore. Would they?' _I couldn't answer that question because I knew if Gavin and Trina where still here I would be in a pair of skinny jeans, a white tank and a blazer to finfish it off. The outfit Trina had bought me for when mom wouldn't buy me school clothes.

I was so deep in thought I didn't realize Cat had already gone and gotten dressed, she looked beautiful, she looked innocent something I had once wished I still had.

'Come on sleeping beauty your chariot awaits' she says holding her hand out for me.

'So who is all going to be there?' I ask knowing all too well that Beck, Jade, and André had returned somewhere in the middle of the week.

'Well I'm not really sure Tor- Bear but we will soon find out wont we know.' She said her southern accent wavering throughout the words she just said. Livin in a small town it was hard trying to avoid someone everyone always knew where you were and they never shut up about the shit that happened in your life. I was born and raised in 'Dreamland' it was just a small town before you got to anywhere really. You could pass through it and not really know if it were abandoned or just some rundown town east of Los Angles. My mother was born here to, so was my dad but they aren't high school sweethearts or anything like that. No they are something I like to call 'A match made in hell'. He used her and she used him which is kind of funny cause the result of their actions lead to Gavin and since neither one of them was prepared their relationship was strained.

But when I was little my mother always told me the story of how a little baby brought them together. It's actually quite sweet, see when Gavin was born he was on a list for adoption, but my mother said when she took one look at him she knew that she could never give him away. My father thought it was crazy but my mom convinced him it was love at first sight, looking at their baby boy. I remember her saying after that they were married had two more kids and lived happily ever after. But that was when I was six or seven now the fucking happily ever after part is a bunch a bull shit lies she tells everyone in her book club.

Cat nudged me, "you ok?' she asked.

'Yea I-I'm fine just kind of space out' I said looking over at her. She smiled and then she hopped out of the car. I waited a good five minutes and joined her inside.

The party was in full swing and from the smell of it the beer and liquor had just arrived. _Rule one never leave said drink unattended, could lead to possible rape and or pregnancy. _I laughed to myself the things people had in their homes. I walk around and look for the guys and the band that is supposed to help me perform tonight when I bump into someone.

'Ugh, I'm sorry I'm looking for the band and now I messed up your shirt.' I said looking down at the ground.

'It's ok.' The familiarity of the voice had me frozen in my place my eyes closed and I counted to ten maybe this was a bad dream or _maybe it was reality_ the voice said.

'Beck' I said I looked up at him and he smiled his eyes roamed my body and then the happiness in his eyes were replaced with hunger.

'Tori.' He said his eyes still on mine, 'You look appetizing' he smirked licking his lips.

I smile at him and continue to look for the band by this time I know what song we are going to do, once I see chase, randy, and Jim I run over to them and whisper the song to them.

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**So here it is I don't know if it's good enough or not. If you want me to continue comment and fave and follow and I might post tomorrow…It's getting to that point where things are going to start coming together. I think after the next two chapters I will further go into how Gavin and Trina died. Remember though Tori does not really remember anything from that night, so I'm going to try and hint at the death as much as possible. If you want to know more pm me and I'll respond when I have time. Thanks for the reviews. This is new based on things I've experienced and what I'm going through now so please no harsh comments just constructive criticism.**

Link to what cat and tori wear are here and on my profile:

Cat: cgi/set?id=79407379

Tori: chapter/set?id=79405732


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